to trans kids

by Gaby Benitez

how could I praise anyone else? but the ones they’re trying to disappear       my earliest teachers       so entirely ordinary       young as the sea       whose echoes you dig out of the creek, remnants of history       as queer as you and just as fluid       even within language that burns and binds you       speak freedom to life

I risk being cringe in my honesty but I owe you       my life across time       

my living ancestors       nobody needs to tell you to exist       you know this better than anyone and still deserve celebration each day       the most mundane being      

I will praise every name that is yours 

yes, you, only four and already here to play       with the make believe stories they tell you     about yourself       pink tulle/blue overalls/white paper       doodled over with every color    

       reflecting back another me       like the once upon a time       my first friend at three 

was so genderfree       together we made up       a whole season of texas wildflowers

and yes, you too, at elementary school science day       sharing the worms’ pronouns       they/them placeholders until we can ask their soft bodies ourselves       when I thought I was the one teaching you       how to compost       new worlds into being       how to hold rebirth 

in your palms

and yes, you as well, paying no attention in the back       as I scrawled science on a 6th grade chalkboard       lost in your t4t novel about a mermaid and her ghost girlfriend       

leaving me slightly jealous       of the worlds closed off to me 

when I needed them most

and you       recalling your own near disappearance       at sixteen until your parents found you       and let you choose your own body       held your hands        at eighteen 

when that first estrogen pill affirmed life’s possibility       took you out for ice cream after       

all I can do is listen       bask in your radiance

write a poem that’s a sanctuary         or a scrapbook 

for you to return to         when you’re old and grey       

         show your own little ones if you choose       

all I can do is rejoice         in you existing